Being a stay-at-home mom is one of those jobs that can be so rewarding and wonderful, but then at the same time make you feel isolated and alone. I think that there is so many amazing parts of being a stay at home mom that I would not trade for the world. But I am still human and I do miss that adult connection, and just having time to think.
I would be lying if I said it was perfect. The judgment that comes with it, the guilt, and always having to be switched on — it is a lot. I don't think my job is harder or easier than anyone else's. I think my job has its own unique positives and negatives. The grass isn't always greener. Is what my mom has always told me, and it truly does fit this situation best.
"The grass isn't always greener. It really does fit this situation best."
The Isolation Is Real
The isolation is probably the thing that I battle the most with. When I do make time to go out and have time for myself (which I am terrible about) I feel like I have nothing to add to the conversation, or anything other than talking about the kids. Really I turn into a boring person. There is nothing wrong with only talking about the kids, but it would be nice to be able to jump into a conversation and add something to it. I used to be a very outgoing, always something to say person. As time goes on I get trapped in my own bubble a lot and lose that spark.
Have I found a perfect way to fix this? No, and I don't think there is. I have some other mom friends and that helps a lot — we mainly gossip about our lives and what is going on. I also talk with my mom about her job. She recently took over the position I left when I had Harvey. That is a lot of fun to use my brain and actually have something else to talk about. I also started working with my husband on his business stuff. These small outlets have started helping me get out of the isolation feeling.
Letting Go of Perfect
I am a perfectionist and that is one thing I have found being a mom that just doesn't work well together. I always feel like I have to have the house spotless, and have dedicated time for the kids and my husband. There always has to be a plan so I can do it all. I have learned that it doesn't have to be so difficult. The dishes don't have to be washed immediately after being placed in the sink, the kids most definitely need to play by themselves. Check out my post on boredom to learn how I am trying to manage that.
Through all of this I have learned that I need to be more patient and understanding of myself, and just enjoy the job that I have. Which when it really boils down to it is just enjoying the boys, and making our time together memorable for them and me.
